Do I Have a Sleep Disorder? No, I Just Have a Life!

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Beth

At Any Age, A Good Night's Sleep Is Rare

This woman is in dreamland, but we have all had years of not-so-good sleep!

Last night I was suddenly awake, again. I asked myself–do I have a sleep disorder? Yes, I’m a boomer, but at any age we all want a good night’s sleep. I did reach a conclusion–most of us don’t have sleep disorders, we just have a life!

At first there wasn’t a logical reason for my wakefulness. My husband was in a deep sleep, I wasn’t having a hot flash and nature wasn’t calling me! I was comfortable—my pillow and covers were just right. But I was awake. A car drove through my cul-de-sac, its lights glazing the ceiling. Somewhere a dog barked.

Yes at first I did blame my boomer age—that wakefulness, sleep problems and sleep difficulties, develop as we age. But comfortably lying there I found myself remembering other sleepless nights and then suddenly smiling. This was nothing! As the memories kept coming, I eventually fell back to sleep. Had I found a cure? Certainly not, but I had reached a comforting conclusion. At younger ages most of us have dealt with far more serious sleep disturbances than I was presently dealing with.

From about age five till maybe ten, I couldn’t sleep if my mother went out with friends. My father died when I was three; mom was my world. Babysitters were no substitute—I’d lie awake listening for their movements downstairs. I’d startle awake when the front door finally closed right below my bedroom, signaling Mom was home. Then I’d force myself to stay awake until her footsteps sounded on the stairs. Often she came in to kiss me; I pretended to be asleep.
One hot summer night, at age 9 or 10, Mom left me sleeping so she could sit on a neighbor’s porch and chat. She was just a house away, but I immediately got up, closing and locking every window. When she came back later, the house felt like it would explode from the heat—but I felt safe.
There were many sleep-interrupted nights in my teen years when the lack of air conditioning was a problem; but that was nothing compared to my teen life which intruded on restfulness. Jealousies, worries about clothes, grades and petty arguments—they could keep my mind awake for hours.
College was four years of little to no sleep. During the week studying occupied my time until 2:00 a. m. Saturday night I was up even later—dating.
A few years later, the biggest sleep disturbance ever created entered my life—children. The amazing thing about sleep-deprived parents is after a while, that’s all they can think about. And when the child finally does fall asleep for 20 minutes, there are all those other healthy things to do instead of sleep—like taking a shower and eating.
When babies become teens, sleep flies away again. You might be lying in a bed or on a sofa, but you are straining to hear the car or see the pattern of its lights come up the street or driveway.
Then there are the camping trips, the only-type-of-hotel-we-can-afford-because-we-are-saving-for-college nights. And yes, there were some very comfortable years when the children were settled and living responsible lives and sleep was endless and rewarding. Then the Boomer Highway happened. I would sleep, but always with one thought locked in my brain—that the phone could ring because of my aging mother or my aging aunt. And it did. There were many falls. There was the fall that led to a broken hip. You are sleeping with one ear listening for the phone.

What disturbs my sleep now? For me it’s stiffness and soreness from lack of exercise. Caffeine that might have snuck into something I drank unawares. Hot flashes. Ah but no crying babies. Some of you now have pets so you won’t forget what it’s like to have to rise early to care for a living thing smaller than you!

But the next time you suddenly find yourself awake, remember when your sleep was in 20 minute increments and your partner always claimed that he or she was up with the kid the last time. Or remember years of worry that you wouldn’t pass the test, get the job or find the right partner. Hopefully those worries are gone and you can welcome your present situation. Or do you have other sleep-deprived experiences to share? There have to be hundreds that I haven’t even touched on. Please comment and share.

Here are a few more suggestions to increase the chances that you will get that rare gift—a good night’s sleep. After all, you probably don’t have a sleep disorder but you do have a life!

Try to go to bed and get up on a regular schedule
Avoid napping
Relax before bedtime by watching television, reading, listening to music or having a warm bath
Keep your room dark, quiet and not hot or cold
Sleep on a comfortable bed with a pillow that works for you and enough covers to keep you comfortable
Avoid strenuous exercise 3 hours before sleep; avoid heavy meals, caffeine, and alcohol; and drink fewer beverages so that bathroom trips won’t disturb your sleep
A light snack can often help you get a good night’s sleep
Keep a telephone and emergency numbers by your bed
Have a lamp that turns on easily
Never smoke in bed
After 20 minutes if you still cannot sleep, get up and read or listen to restful music before going back and trying again.

Thanks to Google Images; Thanks to National Institute on Aging;

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Boomer Highway’s Advice from an ER Doc

Posted on April 14, 2013 by Beth

Sports, summer fun–know how to keep your children and grandchildren safe!

“You are never over reacting when your child is hurt,” advises Dr. Bernard Heilicser a veteran ER doc. “Don’t let a crabby doc or nurse make you feel you did the wrong thing by coming to the hospital. If your first thought is ‘I should call the paramedics,’ do it. Your gut feeling is almost always correct,” adds Heilicser who educated and directed paramedics in South Cook County, Illinois.

Here are tips from Dr. Heilicser that can keep your children and grandchildren healthy as they enroll in sports or are just out there in the world having fun.

Always do ABC first—check airway to see if it is blocked; check for breathing and check for circulation.
Scalp wounds bleed profusely, so don’t be alarmed. Be more concerned about a head or brain injury, especially in an infant.
If your suspect a head, neck or back injury, don’t move the patient. Call the paramedics. “A head injury is always a broken neck until prove otherwise.” Do ABC. Move the environment not the patient—furniture, bike, etc. Cover the patient with a blanket, and allow no water or food.
Try to stay calm, hold your child and assure her first. However, if blood is gushing out, then you have no choice but to act. Stitches will be needed, if you see bone, tendon, or what globules inside the wound. Bright red blood pumping out is arterial bleeding. Try to put pressure on the bleeding and keep the patient still.
If a finger or toe has been cut off, apply pressure to the wound, place the body part in a cloth, and ice it. Most often it can be reapplied. Time is essential. You have about six hours.
If a permanent tooth is knocked out, don’t clean the tooth or rub it. Have your child hold it in the corner of his mouth and get to a dentist within thirty minutes. It can be saved.
If your child gets a chemical or harmful fluid in her eye, irrigate the eye for about ten minutes. If necessary just jump right into the shower with your child, clothes and all. Then consult with your doctor.

A few things to do ahead of time to prevent and deal with traumas:

Know whether your doctor is equipped to deal with emergencies. Can you call her at 3:00 in the morning? Would she have the equipment to do an x-ray or would she just tell you to go to the closest hospital?
Is there a trauma center near you, a hospital that always has a surgeon ‘in house’ to deal with emergencies?
When was your grandchild’s last tetanus shot? A tetanus immunization is supposed to last ten years, but if your child has a “dirty” wound it is really good for only five. If the cut is deep, jagged, dirty or a cut from glass in a lake—get a tetanus.
Learn CPR. Doing something is better than doing nothing. It stops you from feeling totally helpless.
Don’t allow children or grandchildren to eat or chew gum on the playing field. During an injury the airway can easily become blocked creating a critical situation.
See if your Athletic Association has a rule forbidding a coach to move a child from the field. The game can wait. Your child’s injury comes first!

Remember this advice from an ER doc and keep your child healthy and happy.

Thanks to Google Images

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Tips for Habit Change

Posted on March 3, 2013 by Beth

Habit change requires some planning–like knowing what your triggers are.

Habit change is just not easy. But what if:

▪ your healthcare provider just told you to lose weight;

▪ you’ve been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and you have to change your diet;

▪ or like me, you’ve been prescribed walking, exercises to help back pain.

Reaction? First you might be stunned. Then you think: this could be a good thing. Then: I can do this. But after your first walk or your first trip to the grocery to stock up on vegetables, you push the idea for change aside. There are other things in your life that come first. You dream about a pill that could fix it and you’re done. You admit to yourself: this is hard.

It is hard, because it means changing your habits. I have to change some of my habits and create new ones. But can I really do this with everything else on my plate?

Looking at the nature of habits, it’s easy to see why we are all entrenched in them. Habits can make up large portions of our days, our lives. Could this be you? I know it’s me:

▪ street repair blocks your route to work; alternatives lengthen your trip time;

▪ your relaxing Tuesday night show is suddenly cancelled;

▪ your bank changes the online bill-paying format you’re used to;

▪ your regular doctor retires.

All these things require change and adjustment. They were part of habitual living that’s easy to slip into like a comfortable pair of slippers. But with patience we can find an interim route, learn the banking format, do something else on Tuesday nights and adjust to another doctor. Life is full of bumps in the road. But losing weight, changing diets, quitting smoking, and doing regular exercise—that’s more like climbing a mountain.

How to start. Buy a journal or create a computer file to keep track of everything needed to insure success. Then (and this is where the rubber hits the road)—

▪ Determine an attainable goal for habit change and write it down.

Which goal complies: a. I will lose 20 pounds in one month. b. I will lose five pounds in one month.

The second goal is more attainable. Attempting a difficult goal right at the start can often be a roadmap for failure. Even a small brush with failure can make it much harder to get started again. It’s true that people change when they are ready to change. Be aware that difficult goals can really be a form of self-sabotage. It’s like looking for an excuse to say I just can’t do this. But all of us can if we set realistic and attainable goals.

▪ Create a plan for habit change that is realistic, specific and motivating. Write it down in as much detail as needed.

Which plan complies:

a. I will run every day and cut out all sweets.

b. I will walk for 20 minutes 3 times a week and only eat sweets at dessert on the weekends.

The first plan is not specific enough and much too taxing. The second plan is more specific and allows for a day off now and again. Creating a plan that is doable increases your motivation and helps you visualize success.

▪ Write down your major motivation for wanting to succeed with your goal, one that could lead to lasting change.

Which plan complies:

a. I want to look good for my high school reunion.

b. There is diabetes in my family; if I lose weight and watch my carbohydrates, I could avoid this chronic condition.

c. I can’t afford cigarettes because I didn’t get a raise, so I guess I’ll quit.

d. Smoking causes lung cancer and there’s cancer in my family. I need to quit cause I want to keep on hiking, someday take my grandchildren with me.

Note: Having solid, research-oriented information to back up a habit change increases your motivation and helps you stay on track.

▪ Find mentors who will support you and help you achieve your goal. Make sure you have their email addresses handy and their numbers in your cell phone.

Talking about the habit changes we are going to make points us in the right direction for achieving our goals. Mentors can help us stay on track only if they know about the stop-smoking patch, the limit on beers or carbohydrate intake. And if those close to us cannot be mentors, then finding a support group, people who are working on the same habit changes, is a good option. It’s your health. It’s my health. We need people to help us make it happen.

▪ Write down obstacles and roadblocks to success. Being aware of them and dealing with them before habit change increases chances for success.

Want to lose weight, stop smoking? Remove junk food from the kitchen, the cigarettes hidden in various places. Replace these obstacles with things that will bolster success: fruits and vegetable snacks at home and work; gum to chew, water to drink to fight cigarette cravings. Eliminate excuse obstacles: purchase ahead of time good running or walking shoes; know where there’s an indoor facility for exercise when the weather is inclement. Plan for obstacles and eliminate as many as possible before starting a new habit. Success can’t tolerate excuses.

▪ Watch out for triggers.

A trigger is really a set back; it denies the goals of habit change. Examples: people with Type 2 diabetes needing to lose weight going to a fast-food restaurant—there’s little on the menu low in carbs and the smell of the Big Mac might be too tempting. Watching TV can be a trigger—TV and junk food often go together. Solution: keep junk food out of the house or when the craving starts, go for a walk to get back on track and forget the craving.

Smokers often struggle with these triggers: waking up, drinking coffee, having a drink with a friend. Plan ahead and create substitutes for triggers: a shower upon awakening, a piece of candy, a bottle of water for oral gratification.

Keep track of the successes that defeat triggers: the exercise that blocked out the cigarette craving; the no-butter popcorn for a TV snack; and the fruit yogurt eaten instead of cake at the birthday party. It’s gold star time. Avoiding triggers increases commitment to habit change and reaching healthy goals. That’s huge. True motivation.

▪ A few other things to consider: difficulty.

It will be hard at first. Statistics show that people drop out before 20-30 days of a plan. But it’s like anything, the longer we can stay in the game, the easier it will become. Staying power is the key. Planning ahead of time, being aware of obstacles and triggers will outline the path to success.

▪ It’s the weight of the habit change that matters.

Often we hear people say—I’m a disciplined person. Habits are easy for me: every day I make my coffee, read the paper and walk the dog. But those are lightweight, second nature kind of habits that take about twenty minutes. Changing a life-long diet to lose weight, quitting smoking, doing things for your health overall requires months and staying power into years. What smoker hasn’t considered the 20 years of the habit that is pushing against a major change in days and weeks? And the change has to be permanent. The weight of the change is heavy. It’s not a bump in the road—it’s that mountain.

Finally: education helps us reach our goals. Losing weight? There are menus and recipes by the thousands, numerous exercises, sports and activities to help burn calories. Trying to stop smoking or drinking? Get online and read articles and research to help with goal setting. I always research and bring questions to my healthcare provider. I want a medical basis for the exercises that will help my back. We will succeed—with goals, plans and habit change one day at a time.

Thanks to the American Diabetes Association and Leo Babauta at zenhabits.net and Google Images

Be prepared before you start, habit change doesn’t tolerate excuses.

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Sexuality, Spirtuality: Integral to Who We Are

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Beth

“Sexuality—erotic energy—is a powerful sacred fire.”

Mid-life, aging, stressed, alone or surrounded by family—no matter where we are in life, sexuality is still integral to who we are. Research continues to reveal that in many aspects of our lives, how we function as sexual beings directly correlates to a happier, fuller life. Right along with that comes our spiritual life.

In the article, Sacred Fire, author Toni Weingarten reflects on standard religious teachings many of us experienced growing up. Sex basically meant don’t. In addition, our parents’ generation often was unable to teach us about sex, making us think of it as forbidden or dirty.

Sandra Lommasson, a spiritual director at Mercy Center in Burlingame, California, provides a fresher view: “Sexuality is the drive for love, unity, family. Sexuality calls us to new forms of partnership and creativity, to bring life into the world. Our soul isn’t something we have—we are our souls. The soul is life, the principle of energy. And the only sin is to dry up.”

Sr. Lorita Moffatt expands on the thought, referring to sexuality as the “juice of life, a desire for union, communion, and it’s in plants, animals and all of creation.” Approaching children with that concept of sexuality would be positive and life affirming.

Lommasson says: “…sexuality—erotic energy—is a powerful sacred fire.”

Both women are skilled in spiritual direction, a process where a mentor/counselor meets with a person who desires to blend daily living with a spiritual life, develop an inner life or clarify the path he or she is on. Both make the basic point that the spiritual part of us does not say don’t —though Lommasson stresses that: “We need to respect the sacredness of the fire.”

This respect lives in the relationship of two people who value the intimacy they have with one another. In families it is healthy for children to learn over time that their parents have a special relationship that occurs behind closed doors. It is that sexual relationship that brings children into the world and at its best sustains them in a family that is productive and happy.

Christine Gudorf writes in her article, Why Sex Is So Good for Your Marriage, that the “sexual desire created by marital sex is a source of tremendous energy in marriage—loving energy that overflows on others.” She relates that in her own marriage her children became aware of the sexual attraction she and her husband had for each other. They even learned that if one of their parents was tense or irritable, or an argument was ensuing, they could restore the comfortable home atmosphere by suggesting that their parents take a “little nap,” the euphemism developed for a retreat to their bedroom. When Gudorf was growing up, her own parents provided such a model. They touched each other with affection, enjoyed each other’s company and when they emerged from their bedroom, both smiling, their love for each other flowed out to their children and the rest of the evening was often warm and fun-filled. As my mother used to tell me, sex is the glue in a marriage.

The next generations would make stronger marriages if as children they experienced an honest openness about the sexual part of marriage—if sexuality was seen in its spiritual context and didn’t just shout out don’t. Being ignorant of the close bonds that sexuality and spirituality have promotes confusion, leads to an inability to communicate. Wives and husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends should be able to see their sexual lives as integral to human life—as a good thing—a sacred fire that we respect.

Gudorf writes: “For all these reasons, increased attention should be given in both the church and society to strengthening the role of sex in marriage by removing the ignorance of sexuality, the lack of communication skills, and the lack of theological appreciation for sexuality and sexual communion, all of which put marriage at risk.”

We can honor ourselves by acknowledging that sexuality and spirituality are integral to who we are. When we integrate them we respect that sacred fire.

photo by: kevin dooley

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Be Your Own Health Advocate

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Beth

Sometimes you will need help as you advocate for your best health options.

Understanding health problems can be complex, but we must be our own health advocates—or find someone to be an advocate for us. With all the information available today, there is no room for excuses.

I recently talked to a client whose Type 2 diabetes was affecting his heart and other organs—serious stuff. When I asked him to relate his recent blood pressure readings and fasting glucose—he knew those. But he could not remember results for an important kidney function test and his A1C—a test that shows a 3-month average of his glucose control. These are important test results for a person with diabetes to know and to understand. My client is a math teacher, so it’s not as if he is uncomfortable with numbers—what is evident is that he isn’t advocating for himself.

Certainly all of us want doctor visits, necessary medical tests, and any medical procedure to go smoothly. We are anxious to get these things over with so we can go home and get on with our lives. But more often than not, we have to take control of the situation somewhere along this chain of events. If we don’t, things can snowball and we become lost; we don’t understand exactly what our physical condition is and what we need to do to heal ourselves.

The first steps toward being your own advocate are simple:

Find a doctor—often we start with the primary care physician (PCP); if a specialist is needed that choice might depend on insurance plans or the ability to cover co-pays and deductibles; check your health insurance, then research physicians by asking your PCP for a referral; you can also talk to friends and coworkers; word of mouth can often help you make a good choice right from the beginning.
Always ask questions—whether your health situation is minor or major, you need definitions for the terminology the doctor is using, explanations for any procedures you have and certainly careful delineation of your test results. Often medical practices and hospitals provide brochures that explain procedures and lab results in simple language. Keep these for your file.
Keep a notebook or iPad file on your diagnosis—bring that information with you at each visit; bring new questions that arise and get answers to those questions at each visit. Record them in your file.
Keep a calendar—don’t miss and don’t be late for anything that is scheduled: lab draws, x-rays, doctor, physical therapy, occupational therapy, dietitian, pharmacy or social worker appointments.
Research—read, read and read some more. Use your notebook to find medical terms you want to research. With help from the Internet you can flesh out the particulars of your condition or at least become more familiar with its terminology, interventions, surgeries, treatments and medications. NOTE: some doctors feel threatened by clients who research. Just remember it’s your body. There are always polite ways to introduce some material you have found and to ask your doctor to comment on it. If he or she refuses and would rather keep you in the dark—you need another doctor.

Here are some quick tips for understanding common lab results:

BUN–Blood, Urea, Nitrogen: A waste product formed in liver and carried to kidneys, filtered out of blood, excreted through urine. NORMAL RESULTS 7 – 29 mg/dL; A low number may mean malnutrition; a high number may mean liver or kidney disease, heart failure;

CREATININE: A chemical waste produced by muscle metabolism. NORMAL RESULTS 0.8 – 1.4 mg/dL; A low number may mean low muscle mass, malnutrition; a high number may mean chronic or temporary decrease in kidney function;

BUN CREATININE RATIO: NORMAL RESULTS 10:1 to 20:1; A low number may mean malnutrition; a high number may mean blood in bowels, kidney obstruction, dehydration;

POTASSIUM: An electrolyte and mineral. NORMAL RESULTS 3.7 – 5.2 mEq/L; a low number may mean use of diuretics or corticosteroids (such as prednisone or cortisone); a high number may mean acute or chronic kidney failure, Addison’s disease, diabetes, dehydration.

For more interpretations of lab values check out: Understanding Routine Lab Test Results – Lab Test Errors, Abnormalities -AARP

Often an advocate partner is a great idea too. If you have a chronic illness or a form of cancer, there are List Servs online that address concerns about your particular illness. You will meet others who are dealing with the same issues you are. They can be your partners as you advocate for the best health options.

In the end be in control as best you can. Read, research, ask questions. Be your own health advocate. You won’t regret it.

You need to be your own health advocate or find someone to help you.

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When It Is Time for the Adult Child and Parent to Move in Together

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Beth

To help your aging parent, living together and carefully planning ahead for the move can be a good option.

Guest post by Kristin Palardy

When is it time for an aging parent to move in with their son or daughter, or for the younger generation to move in with the parent? It’s fairly obvious that the right time is the point when a parent can no longer live independently because of physical challenges or serious health issues. Additional decisions are also necessary.

Which son or daughter is most appropriate? Where is the home located? Who has more adequate resources? Are there other options available? What kind of medical care will be required? Which home site offers greater independence and comfort for all the parties?

Begin the conversation early, if you can, and keep it going. Aim for harmony, simplicity and well-being throughout the move. Honor the parent’s request for holding on to small, meaningful keepsakes and maybe even larger ones. If possible, hire help to smooth out the rough spots. Here are five recommended steps for making the transition as stress-free as possible.

Choose the home that will work best for both parties. A short-term solution could be considered first. Example: if the younger person could take a leave of absence to move into their parents’ home, care could be greatly simplified, especially if there are two parents involved. For long-term solutions, it makes more sense to have the retired parent(s) move in with the adult child.
Decide how the home can be set up to allow maximum independence and safety for the parent. Walls can be created in existing structures or rooms added. Sometimes a lower level works best for the elder, as long as stairs and obstructions can be avoided.
Recognize that boundary issues are bound to come up. Spatial arrangements can no longer be taken for granted once two households have merged. Conflict lurks in the most ordinary situations: different wake-up and bedtime schedules, dissimilar eating patterns, distinct variations in noise tolerance, disparities in political and economic views and a host of other distinctions that separate the two generations.
Plan to work out the details as you ease into your mutual living arrangements. Keep your options open as both parties work out the glitches of living together. When an issue arises—and certainly there will be some—be a problem solver. Work on a win-win solution to lower distress for all parties.
Involve siblings, friends and support persons in major decisions and every day care. Caregivers are often surprised at how willing others are to lend a hand. An open-door policy expands the number of helpers and brings fresh energy into the situation.
Be prepared to enjoy yourself. As you confront and overcome difficulties—moving, settling in, getting re-acquainted with each other, solving problems—learn to lean back and feel the cushions. When you perceive the move as a unique opportunity, you’ll find your worries decrease and blessings increase.

About Rescue Alert of California™:

Rescue Alert of California™ is the premier medical alert provider and has designed its products and services to respond with speed, accuracy and dependability. They have been experts in senior health and eldercare for over a decade. Extensive years of experience, engineering and research have brought about the highest level of senior medical care and senior safety products. Visit Rescue Alert of California’s website here: http://rescuealertofca.com/.

Thank you Rescue Alert of California for this guest post. Great information!

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Health or Beauty–What’s Your Focus?

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Beth

As we age we choose health which can radiate inner and outer beauty.

Aging can change our focus and our choices—do we want health or beauty?

We’ve made it through the danger years, our teens, early twenties when experimentation was the order of the day. Everyone tried smoking—and many chose from the smorgasbord of not-so healthy drug, alcohol and sexual lifestyle choices. Living on the edge? Most likely. Thinking about our health? Most unlikely. Didn’t we all think we would live forever?

Beauty Was the Goal

But beauty—that mattered. In the early boomer years many tanned. No one talked about sun damage or skin cancer from UVA or UVB rays. We just slathered on the iodine and baby oil. Would we have stopped if we’d known the current research? Maybe not. I tanned and did spray tanning. Research changed that. Now I fervently wish research could undo my sun damage and prevent all skin cancers.

Focusing on beauty also meant

Wearing shoes that were glamorous but hurt feet, made walking difficult, and caused permanent foot problems
Dying or perming hair until the cuticle became dry and straw-like
Buying clothing that was in style, but did nothing for body shape
Eating anything or eating nothing—again, all about beauty concerns

Self-Discovery Drove Us

Some choices were driven by fashion, some by watching others, but most by just trying to discover who we were and how we wanted to present ourselves to the world. We blew with the winds of change—we just didn’t have a focus. We were immortal; health was not a particular concern.

Looking back boomers see the irony of some of our choices. Youth has its own beauty. The shoes, the clothing just enhanced what we already had. Jacque Lynn Foltyn PhD professor of sociology writes: “Any self-presentation is a performance; it is a way of communicating to others about who you are.”

Certainly definitions of beauty have always been various, they change with the times—Rubens painted overly rounded women with paper-white skin—the essence of beauty then. Beauty resides in the eye of the beholder.

What Do We See in the Mirror Today?

But for boomers, focusing on health is now the better choice. A healthy body radiates an inner glow, is active, pain-free, useful, thus communicating a beauty you can’t get out of a jar—happiness. As smarter, older body-owners, we learn as we go!

Carl Rogers the 20^th century psychologist stated: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.” We boomers don’t need mirrors anymore to know who we are. We’ve arrived. We can go from here. The focus becomes obvious—it’s time to focus on health.

Dr. Andrew Weil in a recent interview stated: “There’s a difference between acceptance of a natural and inevitable process and lying down and giving up. Acceptance of aging can be something that’s positive, joyful, enthusiastic. It isn’t rolling over and waiting for life to crush you.”

Research: “The End of History Illusion”

So ask yourself: “Will there be more change from this point on?” An honest answer is YES. Of course. But a recent Harvard University study found that many of us assume we’ll be exactly the same, if maybe a bit more wrinkled, in ten years. Researchers are calling this “the end of history illusion.”

Psychologist Daniel Gilbert, after surveying 19,000 people between 18 and 68, found that the majority could not imagine changing as much in the future as they already had in the past to make it to their current age. Gilbert writes: “All of us seem to have this sense that development is a process that has delivered us to this point and now we’re done…The end of history illusion helps to explain why people marry questionable partners or make financial-planning decisions they come to regret.”

Health and Wise Choices

Health or beauty? Answer: health and constant change—which means more than just a few more wrinkles. Certainly we boomers are benefitting from lifesaving research. Women now know that menopause doesn’t have to lead to a dowager hump or kyphosis of the spine, that frequent weight bearing exercise and taking calcium and vitamin D has meant avoiding the effects of osteoporosis. Change can certainly be positive—strengthening the body, achieving greater endurance. And don’t take the word risk out of your vocabulary. “You gain self-confidence when you take a risk,” writes Foltyn. “It may help you make other changes in your life.” A new home, a different kind of vacation? You have years of experience to help you make wise choices.

While Dr. Weil encourages being active and vigorous, he also warns that we should occasionally look into the mirror of reality and be good judges of what our bodies can handle. “Let go of things as you change. What is appropriate earlier in life may not be appropriate later in life.” If a person’s body is telling them to quit a sport, “…there is a very high risk for serious injury, which is going to prevent them from doing any kind of activity.”

Welcome to the health focus. Make each day count—walk, exercise, travel, volunteer, enjoy good food, good people, good books, theatre and music. There’s beauty in all of it, the beauty of knowing you are also taking care of your health.

Exercise brings you health and a healthy you radiates beauty.

photos by: mikebaird & dherman1145

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Think a Positive Story: Live One Too

Posted on January 21, 2013 by Beth

Positive thoughts can help your mind and your body.

If you see your life as a positive story, can you also live one too? Well, the process certainly has benefits. Years ago when I was struggling with some health issues, a close mentor-friend and very wise woman told me to say aloud to myself: every day and every way I ‘m getting better and better and better. I did. And I did.

The theory behind this? Your subconscious mind, a powerful force, hears things you say like I’m never going to get that job, I’m a failure as a teacher and can actually affect your actions so that the negative thing happens—especially if the negative is often repeated or has nothing positive to offset it.

It’s your powerful subconscious that is programming your future either into good luck and success or into the hospital—or possibly the grave. Tell yourself at 50 they you just want ten more years and it’s quite possible you’ll have to struggle with a major illness when you hit your 60^th birthday. It’s important to cultivate positive feelings about your life and your life choices.

Skeptical? For one thing thinking positively leads to positive action, action that encourages health, advancement, and success. Examples: caring for the body by following preventative health measures; caring for the mind by exposing one’s self to new ideas, theories, and keeping up with what’s happening on the planet; and preparing for change in one’s career by taking classes or discovering how to expand in a job or position.

Clinging to the negative (he hates me, he’ll never promote me no matter what I do) often precludes growth. Opening to the positive can be transformative.

Certainly it’s not always an easy thing to do. Often today is all that counts as some reach for the cigarette, the street drug, drive while texting, fail to practice safe sex, ignore new information available to them and balk at taking a class or working under a new supervisor to advance in a career. People want to give in and say oh well, no mater what I do this is going to happen, woe is me— instead of fighting back and making the positive occur.

Seventy-year-old Byron Katie, who has been called a Spiritual Innovator for the 21^st Century, teaches in her book I Need Your Love—Is That True? teaches that we can create our own reality by believing our own thoughts. And she is talking about toxic thoughts, thoughts that make us suffer.

She says: “Thoughts are like children. They’re gonna scream till we pay attention. When we do, and when we put these beliefs to certain questions, thoughts we’ve believed for 40, 50, 60 years—the worst stressful thoughts—get popped. It takes a lot of courage. But isn’t it time to get real? Haven’t we conned ourselves long enough?”

The above process is what happens in Katie’s seminars that she calls The Work. Who should attend The Work? Katie says: It’s for everyone who wants to end their own suffering and whose mind is open to questioning what they believe to be true.

Here are four questions you would have to ask yourself at a Byron Katie seminar. Question 1: Is it true?

Katie says this question can change your life if you can be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is really true.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it’s true?

Another chance to open your mind and go deeper into the unknown, finding true answers that might be hidden by what we think we know.

Question 3: How does your body react—what happens—when you believe that thought?

This helps you notice internal cause and effect. When you believe the thought, there is a disturbance. It’s stress that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. How does what you’ve written about, the thought you believe, make you feel about a person or event? How do you treat yourself or the person you have written about because of this thought?

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?

Imagine yourself in the presence of the person or event without believing the thought. Would your life be different if you could remove the stressful thought? Katie finally asks: which do you prefer—life with or without the thought?

Finally Katie instructs her attendees to Turn the thought around: When you do this, you are able to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.

Katie writes: The Work reveals that what you think shouldn’t have happened, should have happened. It should have happened because it did, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn’t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle.

Katie and my mentor-friend are similar in their approach. Having one life to live should encourage us to find truth and to find a way to live with truth, as some of it—ie chronic illness, the death of a child, the loss of a job—makes living extremely difficult. But we cannot blame it away, deny it away, hate it away. And we should not go through our days telling ourselves that because of the event, the illness etc we are doomed.

My mentor-friend showed me that for physical challenges it helps to talk to your body with love. Example: to gently massage your forehead or neck when you have a headache while saying relax, you’re okay, take it easy, instead of throwing yourself into an activity where you attempt to ignore the pounding and just be angry at your body.

And for interpersonal challenges, it’s about approaching the stressful situation staying as calm as possible until you have all the facts. In a huge argument with a teenager you might be able to acknowledge that one choice he made during the event was a good one, while pointedly explaining why the other choices showed poor judgment. When it’s over you’ve kept the door open and helped him walk away with some pride intact.

Finally for mental challenges, it might be necessary to seek the help of a counselor, someone who can work with you on an impartial basis and help you see where you are, how you can stop “stinking thinking” and get past your hurt. At the end of each day meditation with a thank you repeated over and over to Spirit can help you get up and cope again the following day.

Byron Katie says: “On our deathbeds, we’re still saying that he or she ruined my life. People say life is a dream. Well, let’s question the nightmare and have a happy dream. Retiring from stressful thoughts could be the most important retirement there is.”

So think a positive story and live one too.

(For more information about Byron Katie and The Work check out her website/and or some of her books.)

Thanks to Mark Matousek and always to Barbara Tennant

Our thoughts are important and can often write our story.

Photos courtesy of Google Images

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Want to Stick to Your 2013 Resolutions? Form Good Habits

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Beth

Forming good habits is the key to keeping New Year resolutions.

Making resolutions for the New Year is easy, keeping them is hard–it means changing habits. But it can be done, especially if we understand how we form habits. We are all entrenched in habits and change brings frustration. Is this you?

Street repair blocks your route to work and in seconds you have to find another way that lengthens trip time;
Your favorite relaxing Tuesday night show is cancelled;
Your bank changes the online bill-paying format you’re used to;
Your regular doctor retires.

These require change and adjusting; habitual living is easy, like a comfortable pair of slippers. Change is challenging. You’ll find an interim route, learn the banking format, etc. These become bumps in your road. But losing weight, changing your diet, quitting smoking, doing regular exercise can be like climbing a mountain.

How to start? 1. Be selective. 2. Don’t take on too much as succeeding at one new habit overrides failing at four. 3. Keep a journal or create a computer file to track your progress.

THEN:

Determine an attainable goal and write it down. Question?? which goal is attainable: I will lose 20 pounds in one month. I will lose five pounds in one month.

The second goal is more attainable. If you attempt a difficult goal at the start, you set yourself up for failure. Once you fail, it’s harder to start again. People change when they are ready to change. Selecting a difficult goal is practicing self-sabotage; like wanting an excuse to say I just can’t do this. You can if you set realistic goals.

Create a plan that will help you reach your goal and keep you motivated. Write it down in as much detail as you need. Question?? which plan is realistic: I will run a mile every day and cut out all sweets. I will walk for 20 minutes 3 times a week and only eat sweets at dessert on the weekends.

The first plan is not specific enough and too taxing. The second plan is more specific and allows for a day off now and again. A doable plan increases your motivation and helps you visualize success.

Write down your major motivation for wanting to succeed with your goal and plan. Question?? which of the following are good motivations for true and lasting habit change: I want to look good for my high school reunion. Or I need to lose weight for health reasons. Other examples: I can’t afford cigarettes because I didn’t get a raise, so I guess I’ll quit. Or There’s cancer in my family and I like to hike and will need good lungs as I age.

Note: Having solid, research-oriented information to back up a habit change increases your motivation and helps you stay on track.

Finally—here are some tips to help you succeed once you’ve made a resolution to change a habit or form a new one.

Find mentors who will support you when you hit a rough spot. Keep their email addresses handy, their numbers in your cell phone. They’ll help you stay on track. If people close to you don’t get it, find a support group. It’s your health!

Be aware of the obstacles and roadblocks to your success. Deal with them before you begin your habit change plan. Obstacles could be: junk food in your kitchen; cigarettes hidden in your car. Replace them with fruits and vegetable snacks; gum to chew, water to drink when you want a smoke. Plan for obstacles: like a place to exercise in bad weather. Eliminate excuses before you start.

Watch out for triggers, ie something that your new habit must avoid. Example: want to lose weight?? Triggers include fast-food restaurants where few items on the menu will keep you on track. Or television, often a trigger for snacking. Keep the junk food out of the house or take a stroll to walk off the craving. Want to quit smoking?? Triggers can include: waking up, drinking coffee, having a drink with a friend. Plan ahead. Find substitutes: a shower upon awakening, a piece of candy, a bottle of water for oral gratification.

Keep track of your successes when you defeat your triggers. Give yourself a gold star. You are truly motivated.

Remember: it will be hard at first. Stats show we often drop goals 20-30 days into a plan. Stay in the game and it will get easier.

It’s the weight of the habit change that matters. You might hear someone say—I’m a disciplined person. Habits are easy for me: every day I make my coffee, read the paper and walk the dog. But those are light-weight, second-nature kind of habits that take about twenty minutes. Changing your life-long diet to lose weight, quitting smoking, doing things for your health overall requires months and staying power into years. What smoker hasn’t considered the 20 years of the habit that is pushing against a major change in days and weeks? And the change has to be permanent. The weight of the change is heavy. It’s not a bump in the road—it’s that mountain.

Finally: educate yourself as you proceed. Losing weight? There are menus and recipes in the thousands to help you along, exercises, sports and activities to help you burn calories. Trying to stop smoking or drinking? Get online and you’ll find articles and research to help you set your goals. And talk to your healthcare provider. They can help you too. You’ll succeed—with your goal, plan and commitment–your resolutions will stick and you’ll form good habits.

Thanks to the American Diabetes Association and Leo Babauta at zenhabits.net

photo by: Ed Yourdon

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Fight Winter SAD: Facts To Beat Winter Blues

Posted on December 29, 2012 by Beth

There are ways to enjoy winter and fight SAD symptoms.

Do you have the winter blues, lack energy, need more sleep, feel depressed? SAD, seasonal affect disorder, affects 5% of Americans and develops from late fall through the beginning of spring. Symptoms include: depression, anxiety, increased sleep, cravings for carbohydrates, weight gain and lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities.

SAD is diagnosed

when a patient experiences depression and other symptoms for at least two consecutive years during the same season;
when the depression ends simultaneously with the end of the season;
when no other explanation exists to clarify the change in behavior or mood during that season.

The exact causes of SAD are unknown, but the condition is considered a subtype of depression or bipolar disorder and can be reimbursed by insurance companies. It is not something to ignore. Theories explaining SAD include:

circadian rhythm, your biological clock—low levels of sunlight during fall and winter months could alter your biological clock which controls sleep and wake cycles. With the clock off kilter, you feel irritated, depressed.
melatonin, a hormone produced by the brain during the hours of darkness, helps regulate sleep, body temperature and release of other hormones. People with SAD are producing too much melatonin, related to the increase of darkness in the winter months.
serotonin, another brain chemical or neurotransmitter, greatly affects mood. Low levels of serotonin might also be related to limited hours of sunlight.

Therapist, Jane Rider, ACS LIS, states that lack of sunlight is the major contributor to the condition. “When you have sunlight flooding your windows or your body, even if it is bitterly cold outside, it gives you positive emotional feelings. It’s a seasonal and cyclical problem.”

Rider emphasizes that SAD is treatable and should be addressed before more serious health issues, like substance abuse and suicidal thoughts, can develop.

People more at risk for SAD include:

women (note: when men have SAD their symptoms are often more severe)
people living far from the equator, either north or south
people with a familial history of other types of depression
people who have a clinical history of depression or bipolar disorder

Prevention is key to dealing with SAD.

Travel to a sunny climate sometime during the winter season if at all possible.
Get out and be with other people—it helps power through low moments.
Exercise—it’s critical, increasing endorphins that lift mood.
Read gardening books, take care of indoor plants or purchase flowers to increase positive thinking.
Use candlelight or fireplace fires to bring a different kind of light into your life.
When relaxing, drink green tea and push away toxic thoughts. Hitting the couch for long periods of time with unhealthy food like chips will worsen your condition and may prolong it.
Open shades daily; trim bushes and trees at windows; sit near bright windows whenever possible.
Walk or sit outside even when it’s cloudy as outdoor light helps—especially if it’s morning light that you get within 2 hours of waking.
Try mind-body therapies: acupuncture, yoga, meditation, massage therapy.
Manage your stress by getting out and doing things to help others.
Eat healthy meals at regular times and don’t use alcohol to blunt sensation.
Follow your doctor’s orders if you are prescribed antidepressants, light therapy (see below) or psychotherapy.

These suggestions won’t absolutely prevent the disorder, but they will help you ease the symptoms. It’s best to begin treatment for your symptoms before they would normally start and continue treatment past the time they would normally end. Getting control of your symptoms before they get control of you might just put a smile on your face and a lift in your step so you can banish those winter blues.

Though light therapy is the first line treatment for SAD and you can get a phototherapy light without a prescription: talk to you doctor first! For 30 minutes of therapy, the light should be 10,000 lux, (lux being the measurement of light intensity). A 5,000 lux light would require 60 minutes of therapy. Sitting in a range of 12-18 inches from the light source, eyes have to be open so light reaches the retina in the back of the eye. Side effects include headaches and eyestrain, and if therapy is done too late in the day, insomnia can occur. You’ll fight the winter blues and SAD by educating yourself and, if necessary, seeing your doctor.

photo by: Per Ola Wiberg ~ powi

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Last night I was suddenly awake, again. I asked myself–do I have a sleep disorder? Yes, I’m a boomer, but at any age we all want a good night’s sleep. I did reach a conclusion–most of us don’t have sleep disorders, we just have a life!

Here are a few more suggestions to increase the chances that you will get that rare gift—a good night’s sleep. After all, you probably don’t have a sleep disorder but you do have a life!

Remember this advice from an ER doc and keep your child healthy and happy.

Habit change is just not easy. But what if:

We can honor ourselves by acknowledging that sexuality and spirituality are integral to who we are. When we integrate them we respect that sacred fire.

Understanding health problems can be complex, but we must be our own health advocates—or find someone to be an advocate for us. With all the information available today, there is no room for excuses.

In the end be in control as best you can. Read, research, ask questions. Be your own health advocate. You won’t regret it.

Guest post by Kristin Palardy

Aging can change our focus and our choices—do we want health or beauty?

But for boomers, focusing on health is now the better choice. A healthy body radiates an inner glow, is active, pain-free, useful, thus communicating a beauty you can’t get out of a jar—happiness. As smarter, older body-owners, we learn as we go!

Welcome to the health focus. Make each day count—walk, exercise, travel, volunteer, enjoy good food, good people, good books, theatre and music. There’s beauty in all of it, the beauty of knowing you are also taking care of your health.

Seventy-year-old Byron Katie, who has been called a Spiritual Innovator for the 21st Century, teaches in her book I Need Your Love—Is That True? teaches that we can create our own reality by believing our own thoughts. And she is talking about toxic thoughts, thoughts that make us suffer.

Byron Katie says: “On our deathbeds, we’re still saying that he or she ruined my life. People say life is a dream. Well, let’s question the nightmare and have a happy dream. Retiring from stressful thoughts could be the most important retirement there is.”

So think a positive story and live one too.

Making resolutions for the New Year is easy, keeping them is hard–it means changing habits. But it can be done, especially if we understand how we form habits. We are all entrenched in habits and change brings frustration. Is this you?

Prevention is key to dealing with SAD.

Travel to a sunny climate sometime during the winter season if at all possible.

Get out and be with other people—it helps power through low moments.

Exercise—it’s critical, increasing endorphins that lift mood.

Read gardening books, take care of indoor plants or purchase flowers to increase positive thinking.

Use candlelight or fireplace fires to bring a different kind of light into your life.

When relaxing, drink green tea and push away toxic thoughts. Hitting the couch for long periods of time with unhealthy food like chips will worsen your condition and may prolong it.

Open shades daily; trim bushes and trees at windows; sit near bright windows whenever possible.

Walk or sit outside even when it’s cloudy as outdoor light helps—especially if it’s morning light that you get within 2 hours of waking.

Try mind-body therapies: acupuncture, yoga, meditation, massage therapy.

Manage your stress by getting out and doing things to help others.

Eat healthy meals at regular times and don’t use alcohol to blunt sensation.

Follow your doctor’s orders if you are prescribed antidepressants, light therapy (see below) or psychotherapy.

Seventy-year-old Byron Katie, who has been called a Spiritual Innovator for the 21^st Century, teaches in her book I Need Your Love—Is That True? teaches that we can create our own reality by believing our own thoughts. And she is talking about toxic thoughts, thoughts that make us suffer.