The title of this post is not about some pathology. No. The title is me working toward asking everyone a question: Who thinks about you each morning?
I hope it’s someone you love. I hope it’s a dear close friend–as opposed to a fellow worker who is just eager to talk to you so some duties can be passed along or a crabby neighbor who keeps bugging you to trim that tree.
So who thinks about you each morning fondly or with love?
The question can also be turned around: when you open your eyes, who do you think about?
On opening my eyes, I think about our three children. I picture my older daughter already at work–she is three hours ahead of us and that’s a bunch of time. I think of my son in Chicago who is also at work. And finally, I know my other daughter is busy getting our three grandchildren ready for school.
Such mother-oriented thoughts might apply to you too–but on a different level. Maybe your first thought of a morning is: I forgot to sign that report card or make the lunches.
I get that.
CHILDREN DON’T COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS
The above statement is kind of a joke, but it’s also true. Here is the crux or guts of my post today–and it does connect with who thinks about you each morning.
In human interaction (which starts when we are born, proceeds through childhood etc) no one sits us down and says, SO, ABOUT LIFE and LIVING, this is how it’s done. (You might argue that yes, your parents sat you down about sex, or being safe or something. I get that.)
But what I’m referring to is the fast-paced challenge of daily living. You can look at this from different points of view: when you were or are raising your children OR when your parents were raising you.
A lot went by without a sign that read: hey, this is important, watch what I do–this is how to live. Or: listen up, this is important, watch what I say and how I say it.
No, what each of us learned was ON THE FLY, in the moment, hectic and busy, sometimes with a hint of anger or frustration. And the end result? We grew up and created our own persona either taking in and agreeing with THOSE VOICES IN OUR HEADS or making a point of disregarding them.
And I get that. I get that sometimes what we are exposed to as children needs heavy editing. That’s how we rearrange things and hopefully what our children now hear doesn’t need that kind of editing.
THE HUMAN VOICE
So back to those voices in your head–in my head.
First, regardless of how busy their lives are, I hope and I think I know that our children DO think about me, about my husband every day–or almost every day. Maybe that thought is not the first thing–but later, late afternoon when our son calls on his drive home or one daughter sends an email and the other calls or there is a text. HUMAN CONNECTION. THOSE VOICES IN OUR HEADS.
Even in our current culture, the world of cell phones, I can hear my children’s voices, see their smiles. Distance doesn’t have to be distance. It can be an opportunity to picture them, think about them, answer that initial question: Who thinks about you each morning? I DO! I think about you. And if the lives of my children are any bit like my life–they hear my voice now and again. It’s in their heads. Hopefully, the message is loving and positive. Or I presented an argument or an answer to a problem that they are now considering. My husband is a great counselor. I’m sure they ponder his ideas.
SOME VOICES REMAIN
As a final thought, each night I remember my parents, especially my mother who raised me and my two brothers alone, because of my father’s too-early death. If there is any voice in my head that has guided me or whose movements, choices, facial expressions created that BOOK OF INSTRUCTIONS, it was my mother.
I still patten much of what she said about living, how she treated other people, her ideas on parenting and being a good friend, a loving spouse. She was awesome. Trailing behind her during those early years of my life helped form me. Of course I wasn’t aware at the time as to how lucky I was.
Thanks for reading. Tomorrow when I wake up, I’lll think of my family–and my readers. And for sure, I hope there are a lot of you!
PS. There has been much research about parental voices affecting the raising of children, I’m Okay You’re Okay being a major one. But I just wanted to touch on the basics–keep it simple. If there is a book or an experience that provided a turning point in your life, I would be eager to hear about it.
Thanks to Charles Schultz, Peanuts and Pinterest.