Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

In my grandmother’s time, gracious giving was the acceptable way to honor someone.  At a wedding shower given for her by a small group of friends, she was gifted with a set of six hand-painted plates—each one signed on the back with her friends’ names and a message for a successful marriage.  I cherish them.

Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

Gracious giving at my grandmother’s wedding shower preserves memories.


Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

On the back of each plate was the giver’s name and a message for a successful marriage.










My grandmother, Nana, passed on this trait of gracious giving to her family.  She and my mother and my two aunts gifted me all my life with spiritual, intellectual and material gifts.  Though Nana and my aunts have died and my mother’s dementia has deprived her, the memories of my life with these strong and amazing women holds me up every day.

Elizabeth, my Nana, not only gave me my name but also quietly brought me into conversations when my status as a middle child caused me to hold back.  She had eight siblings, but was selected to attend teacher’s college and work outside the home.  She taught school and in her spare time, as women of her time did, she painted water colors, made quilts, knitted and crocheted.  She also sang in the church choir and played the piano.

After her marriage to my grandfather, these talents helped her raise and care for four children while he traveled selling oriental rugs for Marshall Field’s in Chicago.  During the depression she baked bread, raised chickens for eggs and meat, and used her skills with a needle to darn socks and mend clothing.   Nana always put her children first and denied herself new clothes or trips out with lady friends so that her children could attend private schools and take piano, voice and violin lessons.

She stimulated love of literature and learning by reading to her children every night.  My mother kept many of these books, like the Maida series by Inez Haynes Gillmore Irwin.  When I was ready, mom gave them to me, opening a world of gentle lives and loving experience that made me a reader forever.  Now my daughter Carrie has been gifted with them.

The sixties ushered in major cultural changes, but Nana and I were always close and she continued to gift me: a bright red sweater which she knitted; a quilt of the Tree of Life, a labor of many hours of stitching, her wedding gift to me; and an Elizabeth Birthday Party that honored her turning 80 and me graduating from grade school.

Gracious Giving Preserves Memories


Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

All my children and grandchildren get their picture taken on the tree of life quilt that Nana made.










Because of Nana’s giving nature, she also received.  Living until 91, she was able to stay in her home with my two aunts until her death.  She was gifted with California trips to see grandchildren, a great granddaughter and periodic announcements of her grandchildren’s graduations, marriages and career moves that often made her raise both hands to her mouth in a gesture of amazement and pleasure.  She died within hours of a gathering at her church with her oldest and dearest friends.

I love to think of her as I search the depths of two of her lovely watercolors.  In my life, I was gifted with Nana, a woman who knew the importance of family and provided all of hers with amazing memories—because of the most gracious and meaningful gift of all—herself.

Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

My grandmother painted these apple trees; apple blossoms were falling the day she died.


Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

I wonder if my grandmother was dreaming about her future when she painted this lovely water scene.








What gracious gift have you been given in your life that you will never forget?

2 thoughts on “Gracious Giving Preserves Memories

  1. What a sweet post, Beth. I love knowing about traditions. They have such centering roots. How special that you have paintings from your grandmother. I encourage my adult students to realize that if they have the desire to paint, they should be finding time for it. Only 10% of the population has the desire and too often they let everyday demands get in the way. Folks don’t realize that it is a gift. The main canvas women were given was china plates and cups, not canvases. I treasure the art tradition that was passed on to me. My grandfather had incredible handwriting. I know he would have been an artist if life had allowed. My father copied a few masterpieces, but would have been happy to do that every day. My mother was an incredible craftsman with material and yarns. They paved the way for me becoming an artist. Blessings, Mar

  2. Dear Mary, Your comment is so appreciated. And yes women did use china plates and cups to further their artistic desires until Grandma Moses and Mary Cassatt gave way to Georgia O’Keeffe. Your family surrounded you with the impetus to be an artist. My family surrounded me with the desire to be a writer. Both my aunts worked in publishing and wrote themselves. It has long simmered in me and sometimes my talents shine and other times I must hide them under the proverbial bushel. But I am ever grateful for the family that encouraged me and even better, loved me.


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