Three Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Go Wrong

Three Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Go Wrong

Deepak Chopra is a spiritual man who has spent his life helping others discover their spiritual life, and to aid them in maintaining that life through meditation and a close understanding of one’s needs and human foibles.

In one of his articles, Chopra addresses how to deal with your life when things are not as you planned. He has created THREE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.

He writes: a setback is one thing. So is a challenge. But sometimes so much comes upon us, that we find ourselves in crisis. Panic ensues and the hole we are digging for ourselves, or the hole we have fallen into, is getting bigger.

Wisdom is needed. Impulse must be pushed aside. Decision making sometimes requires that proverbial deep breath, a pause in the panic we are leaning toward, and a better decision- making process.

QUESTIONS TO AVOID:

  1. What is wrong with me? Stay calm. You are human. Don’t blame yourself.
  2. Whom can I blame? Again, think things through, look at both sides of the problem, the argument, the situation. Breathe.
  3. What’s the worst-case scenario? Don’t go there. Don’t imagine that things are only going in the wrong direction. Look for some light, find something positive you can focus on.

Here Deepak Chopra asks and answers some questions to help you when THINGS GO WRONG.

  1. Is this a problem I should fix, put up with or walk away from?

You need to answer this question clearly and rationally, or your vision will be clouded. Without even knowing it, you will be acting under the influence of negative emotions such as fear. You will give in to impulsiveness or fall back on old habits.

CLARIFY YOUR INNER CONFUSION. First step: consider after talking to those you trust, a course of action that begins with finding a fix. And if you can’t think of a fix, ask yourself why. Perhaps someone or something (a lack of money and time) is blocking you. It is always worthwhile to search for a fix and commit yourself to finding one. When you have finally exhausted your realistic options, only then will your begin to decide to put up with the situation (using patience, not passivity) or walk away.

  1. Who can I consult who has solved the same problem successfully?

You need help to solve a heavy problem. Isolation is not good as we become afraid and depressed; we draw into ourselves. There can also be shame and guilt which gives us even more reason to completely shut down.

Best to find someone who has gone through the same crisis you are facing. It gives you an example to follow and a confidant who understands your pain, keeps you from withdrawing into isolation. Victims feel alone and helpless. Reach out to someone who has not been victimized by the thing you are now facing.

And we aren’t talking about hand-holding or shared misery, or even therapy. There are no substitutes for talking to a person who has entered a dark place and come out successfully. But where do you find such a person? Ask people; seek support groups; find blogs and forums; don’t stop until you find true empathy from someone you trust.

  1. How can I reach deeper into myself for solutions?

This is always up to you. Though your crisis is all-consuming, the world OUT THERE won’t change until the world IN HERE does. Deepak says:

The level of the solution is never found at the level of the problem. Knowing this, you can escape many traps people fall into: repetitive thinking; applying yesterday’s outworn choices; obsessive thinking and worry; etc etc. You have more than one level of awareness, and at a deeper level there is untapped creativity and insight.

YOUR HIGHER SELF: whatever you call it, soul, Atman, Holly Spirit, muse, inspiration must experience the place within where the light dawns and brings hope. Peace is possible. There is certainty that you will find a path forward.

FINAL WORDS FROM CHOPRA: You will find this place. Even in the worst of crisis we experience flashes of it. Inhabit that level of awareness that brings solutions. Know that level exists. Make a plan to get there and use techniques available to you: meditation, reflection, contemplation, prayer.

Reduce your stress. Seek others who understand consciousness. Read books that inspire you and describe what it means to go on an inward journey.

The important thing is that you take the first steps inside. Find a path out of your present darkness, and don’t submit to fear and despair. Find those who lead the world into a future full of light.

art: a cairn in Aruba