Three Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Go Wrong

Three Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Go Wrong

Deepak Chopra is a spiritual man who has spent his life helping others discover their spiritual life, and to aid them in maintaining that life through meditation and a close understanding of one’s needs and human foibles.

In one of his articles, Chopra addresses how to deal with your life when things are not as you planned. He has created THREE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.

He writes: a setback is one thing. So is a challenge. But sometimes so much comes upon us, that we find ourselves in crisis. Panic ensues and the hole we are digging for ourselves, or the hole we have fallen into, is getting bigger.

Wisdom is needed. Impulse must be pushed aside. Decision making sometimes requires that proverbial deep breath, a pause in the panic we are leaning toward, and a better decision- making process.


  1. What is wrong with me? Stay calm. You are human. Don’t blame yourself.
  2. Whom can I blame? Again, think things through, look at both sides of the problem, the argument, the situation. Breathe.
  3. What’s the worst-case scenario? Don’t go there. Don’t imagine that things are only going in the wrong direction. Look for some light, find something positive you can focus on.

Here Deepak Chopra asks and answers some questions to help you when THINGS GO WRONG.

  1. Is this a problem I should fix, put up with or walk away from?

You need to answer this question clearly and rationally, or your vision will be clouded. Without even knowing it, you will be acting under the influence of negative emotions such as fear. You will give in to impulsiveness or fall back on old habits.

CLARIFY YOUR INNER CONFUSION. First step: consider after talking to those you trust, a course of action that begins with finding a fix. And if you can’t think of a fix, ask yourself why. Perhaps someone or something (a lack of money and time) is blocking you. It is always worthwhile to search for a fix and commit yourself to finding one. When you have finally exhausted your realistic options, only then will your begin to decide to put up with the situation (using patience, not passivity) or walk away.

  1. Who can I consult who has solved the same problem successfully?

You need help to solve a heavy problem. Isolation is not good as we become afraid and depressed; we draw into ourselves. There can also be shame and guilt which gives us even more reason to completely shut down.

Best to find someone who has gone through the same crisis you are facing. It gives you an example to follow and a confidant who understands your pain, keeps you from withdrawing into isolation. Victims feel alone and helpless. Reach out to someone who has not been victimized by the thing you are now facing.

And we aren’t talking about hand-holding or shared misery, or even therapy. There are no substitutes for talking to a person who has entered a dark place and come out successfully. But where do you find such a person? Ask people; seek support groups; find blogs and forums; don’t stop until you find true empathy from someone you trust.

  1. How can I reach deeper into myself for solutions?

This is always up to you. Though your crisis is all-consuming, the world OUT THERE won’t change until the world IN HERE does. Deepak says:

The level of the solution is never found at the level of the problem. Knowing this, you can escape many traps people fall into: repetitive thinking; applying yesterday’s outworn choices; obsessive thinking and worry; etc etc. You have more than one level of awareness, and at a deeper level there is untapped creativity and insight.

YOUR HIGHER SELF: whatever you call it, soul, Atman, Holly Spirit, muse, inspiration must experience the place within where the light dawns and brings hope. Peace is possible. There is certainty that you will find a path forward.

FINAL WORDS FROM CHOPRA: You will find this place. Even in the worst of crisis we experience flashes of it. Inhabit that level of awareness that brings solutions. Know that level exists. Make a plan to get there and use techniques available to you: meditation, reflection, contemplation, prayer.

Reduce your stress. Seek others who understand consciousness. Read books that inspire you and describe what it means to go on an inward journey.

The important thing is that you take the first steps inside. Find a path out of your present darkness, and don’t submit to fear and despair. Find those who lead the world into a future full of light.

art: a cairn in Aruba

How to Fight Aging: Deepak Chopra Says Make Time Your Friend

There is always some good news.

From the moment you awake to the end of the day, you are constantly employed with the job of living. Depending on how smoothly time flows, your day might go extremely well or it might bump along until you cannot wait to end it, fall into bed!

No matter what your day contains, how you planned or didn’t plan a given day, and what your attitude is toward the day’s events—time is passing on. You are aging minute to minute:

• your heart continually beating,

• gravity pulling on your body,

• the environment exposing you to damaging elements that could affect intricate organ systems your health relies on.

None of this is on your mind as you make coffee or cereal, check email or begin a list of phone calls, dress and drive your children to school, or race to catch the train or bus for work.

But in fleeting moments when you separate from busyness and just consider living, Deepak Chopra has some guidelines to help make time your friend. His rules will help you soften time’s frantic pace and lessen the negative affects it has on your physical body. Follow these and you will be fighting aging.

Rule One: Where the mind goes, the body must follow. If your mind is constantly worrying, then your body is constantly being placed under stress. Cortisol runs through your blood stream increasing heart rate in the flight and fight response. You become jumpy and unnerved. Your body is following your mind, aging every minute as you stress out, worry and fret. Lesson to Learn: whenever possible eliminate negative thoughts and relax; work to accept the bumps in your day. Breathe!

Rule Two: Memory freezes time and makes you relive toxic experience. This is a hard rule to follow, because humans love to hold on to things. With two fists clenched and with a mind set in a firm pattern, you go back to things that are finished, things that happened days, months, years ago. You call up hurts, regrets, betrayals, things that mar the calmness of the present. It’s like taking a beautiful beach scene and wanting a tsunami to occur. All the toxic feelings associated with that event come roaring back. Where there might have been stress-free healthy living, now you are experiencing those very same illness-producing feelings from the past. Lesson to Learn: to fight aging, live in the present and let the past go. Breathe!

Rule Three: Aging is rooted in stuckness. Linked to Rule Two, this one reminds you that bad experiences leave chemical residue in your cells. Dwelling on divorce, job-loss, a friend’s betrayal allows the flight and fight experience and the cascade of negative chemicals to reoccur, circulating through your body. Your heart races, anger rises shutting out pleasant experience. Stop this cascade of responses. Breathe, think uplifting thoughts, cultivate relaxation. This clears negative chemicals from organ systems. You get unstuck and your mind focuses on the good things happening in your life. Lesson to Learn: breathe out tension when stuck. Embrace the present. That’s staying young.

Rule Four: A river never ages. Like flowing rivers, embrace change. In order to stay young, your mind and body must accept change. The direction of the change is your choice—are you going to move forward or backward? Are you embracing newness in your life as you garden or make dinner, or are you dragging yourself back into stuckness—angry about weeding chores or grumbling that you’re cooking chicken again. There are forward ways to do both tasks. It’s up to you. Lesson to Learn: Creativity brings change; be creative in your daily life and let change bring exciting challenges.

Rule Five: Beyond time, the experience of youth can be eternal. Chopra conjectures that someone once said: an ageless body depends on a timeless mind. What is timeless in you? Your soul, your consciousness, your mind freed from memory during meditation? Yes! Free yourself. Your immortality is that timeless part of you that you’ll find through meditation. Chopra says meditation and letting go will allow your mind to find truth. And truth is beyond the confines of time. Lesson to Learn: Stop the dirty dishwasher of your thoughts. Focus on your breathing and find the truth buried within.

Time is a precious commodity. Maybe each morning you select something you truly want to do during that day–and make sure you do it. Time can steal away life before you paint that picture, walk in that garden or visit with someone you love. Make Time Your Friend every day.